10 things I'm pretty sure I miss about having a girlfriend.

It occured to me today whilst grocery shopping that as much as I enjoy single life, there are a few things lacking from my existance that I have sadly taken for granted. They include:

10. Coupons. Seriously, I don't know what sort of whichcraft you ladies have, but I've yet to be in a serious relationship with a woman whom a.> does not get the paper delivered to her and b.> never fails to have coupons for whatever it is I think is needed from the grocery store. Even condoms. Condoms. Really? What are you? A freaking magican?

09. Free haircuts. While admittidly this was a pre-2005 phenominom, I always seemed to date someone whom knew how to cut my hair, and make me look at least slightly less like a tool. Granted, for a while I was either rocking my long luxerious locks of olde', or a mohawk, but still; pretty damn awesome.

08. Going to see kids movies without having to bring my younger siblings. Although I can generally get away with Pixar flicks by myself, you just get a funny look walking into see the new "Whinne The Pooh" movie.

07. Feeling useful for being tall. I bonk my head on things quite often, and generally don't fit quite right into the backseat of most cars, but all that is forgotten when someone asks me to change a lightbulb. Hells yeah, I can do that!

06. Going halfvsies for presents. While I may still be single because I've occasionally said "halfvsies" in public, it's pretty awesome to split the cost around hollidays.

05. Spelling. Fun fact: ALL women spell better than I.

04. Birthday sex. Yup, it's pretty awesome.

03. Having someone to text pictures of random things I find on the side of the street to- at 0300. Although for the life of me I cannot fathom the person whom wouldn't want me to send them photos of a neat, old, busted up radio abandoned on the side of the road at oh-dark-thirty.

02. Staying in. Don't get me wrong; I love eating Gibson's Tastee Doughnuts with all of you at 2 in the morning, but there's something to be said about cooking a nice dinner, and wasting away the evening with an awesome movie or series every once in a while. When I do it by myself, I just feel like I'm being anti-social.

And...

01. Not having to check for monsters under the bed. It's not that I think she'll keep them away, it's just that I know I can run faster. Worry not! Once I'm done pissing myself, I vow to fight smaller monsters and level up. When my limit break is charged, I will return to avenge your gruesome and untimely death!

While I'm not entierly positive this means I'm ready to start looking for a potential paramore, I sure do miss having someone to eat the pineapple off my side of the pizza.

Hearts and Ponies;
-T