Sunday, May 29, 2011

kindle 1:

 (click to see better with eyeballs):

To be fair, who would not want an usb port installed on them?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

texas I

 (click to see better with eyeballs):Commentary on the Texan Textbook Industry.  Not meant to insult real life Texans.  Unless you support extremist political view points influencing curriculum.  In which case, please go jump off a bridge.


My sister and I do not always agree on everything. Particular points of contention include, but are not limited to; pineapple, indefinite articles, the daily wear of Hawaiian T-Shirts, “toe shoes”, the use of “Plutoed” as a verb (I find it to be insensitive), artificial pineapple flavoring, carbine assault rifles, side burns, pineapple-shaped lawn ornaments, and of course the great state of Texas. As such I will attempt to come to its defense.

1. As far as I’m awares, it’s the only state in the Union with both alligators and buffalo.
2. Stevie Ray Vaughan.
3. It once had its own president, General Sam Houston. Even more impressive was his mustache.
4. It has its own battleship. That’s right, its own. Not the Navy’s, no sir. Texas’s.
5. Shiner Bock.
6. Sports! Texas has sports!
7. If you name your dog Texas (but pronounce it “Tejas”), women will find it adorable.
8. The coolest bumper sticker in the nation!
9. Tex-Mex, and the majority of those silly drinks you order on Mexican night.
10. Chuck Fucking Norris.

software I

 (click to see better with eyeballs):I remember the days when you could just go to a store and buy something.  With real solid money.  And then you could walk about holding it in your hand.  And it wouldn't subsequently try to destroy your expensive household tech.





I should point out that I'm writing this on a free, open-sourced piece of software refereed to as “OpenOffice”. While it's true that there are many valid free programs out there, such things are often creative and production based. They are designed and contributed to by scores of hardworking and good-willed men and women whom devote their time, for little, or more likely no, pay and/or recognition. (Unless you're a truly devotional Linux nerd.) Such applications exist for a variety of platforms, come from trusted sources, allow you to donate little (or no money) for downloading them, and generally speaking make life more affordable, and tolerable for those of us whom cannot afford to shell out 400 USD for a word-processor.

Having said that, these are the exception, and by far, not the rule. Many free programs are just demos of various time allowances, which force you to save in a format only usable by the parent program, which must be purchased at full price, and unless your savvy enough to do some quick file-conversion, cause you to loose your work if you do not acquiesce to their demands. Often times anti-malware programs simply protect you from their own products, or at best implement a couple of fixes you could resolve yourself by spending half an hour getting to know your operating system of choice. What's worse, is they run data collection in the background, send back information that you gave them access to by clicking through the end user license agreement without reading. (Even if you did, some of the clauses and terms are practically indecipherable.) On this subject, it is important to note two things: One, more and more frequently public organizations are demanding “plain English” condensed versions of legal terms to include important and significant information in bullet point format (this should, by all rights, include common E.U.L.A.s), and Two: Just because you agree to something with a click, does not make it legal for said company to violate your basic rights. As such, were more people willing to come forward and seek legal action against said companies doing the violation, such behavior might be stymied, at least a bit.

How did we get to this point? Simple: apathy and “loose” moral justification on what is, and is not, a product. (Specifically what deserves our money.) In other words, by seeking to NOT learn about the thousands of dolars of electronic equipment we've invested our money into, nor paying for a legitimate product developed by people whom spent very real money earning an education that allows them to create these things for you, we've opened ourselves to the mercy of anyone whom can make a quick buck on our lack of interest in these areas. These highly profitable areas. Proponents of mal-ware can do anything from selling your trackable information and habits to research and marketing groups, to outright stealing your identity, reputation, time, and money.

How do we move forward? By taking an hour or so from our “busy” schedules to learn about the products, services, and equipment we possess. By making a simple 5 USD donation to a sight such as Sun Microsystems's(tm) “Open Office” (after all, $5 is by far cheaper, and more reasonable that $400), and positive recognition of those whom work on our behalf. In all honesty, it's neither difficult, nor time consuming.

Having said that, I feel I should point out that I still downloaded the free version of “Angry Birds”.

shrondinger's pikachu

 (click to see better with eyeballs):One of my first comics.  Hopefully this excuses the especially poor artistic quality and less than hilarious punchline.  I still think it is cute, nonetheless.




There are very few things on this Earth that are as frightening to myself as the prospect of an "undead" Pikachu.

facebook II

 (click to see better with eyeballs):Come on.  Admit it.



Ahh, the wonders of the oft-overlook benefits and research marketing firms are allowed to derive free from our willingly posted fears and paranoia. What’s that? I’m being sarcastic you say? Surely you jest; we’d never post anything online that wasn’t derived from complete truth and an utter desire for the positive development of our society.

On that note I feel it’s not only fascinating, but a thing to be congratulated that we can now keep track of our particular obsessions and insecurities! It’s fantastic that at the end of the week, when I go to visit my Psycho-Therapist (Psychoactive, as opposed to Psychopathic, I feel I should point out.) that empirical evidence of my ability to not function without the approval of social peers whom may or may not be involved in my immediate community, not to include the arbitrary electronic approval of my paramour are measured, cataloged, and recorded for the benefit of not only my counselor, but future generations of obsessive-sensationlist-junkie-technology-hip-overly-judgmental-twits. Indeed, I am reassured that the number of compliments I leave for my online lover are stored safely away in an electronic server with the best security possible, and seamlessly unlimited budget, as opposed to the results of local and national elections, to whit some (but not all) data is stored on aging Cobol-based-dinosaurs. (The upside is that you can run “snake” or “frogger” while attempting to ensure a lack of voter-fraud.) It seems that in the end just how cute I think various kitties are will be far more important to future historians.

faulkner I


 (click to see better with eyeballs):This has a really long, long explanation behind it, and honestly, if you've never read and Faulkner, it isn't in the least bit funny.  Basically, my University is falling to pieces in every sense of the phrase when it comes to our Fine Arts Departments.  Instead of blaming this on our alumni only donating to the Engineering Departments, I'm blaming it on Faulkner, the man I wrote my senior thesis about.





On the up-side, Sinaed tells me that the vending machines in the English building are far cheaper than those in the Department of Sciences. That's a thing, right? But wait, there's more! I also learned from this comic that "As I Lay Dying" isn't just the name of an amazing Metal/Hardcore band- apparently, it's a book, also! I wonder if they ever made that into a movie...

facebook I

 (click comic to see better with eyeballs)



To those parties whom may be interested, we're currently seeking grant monies to correlate a second line depicting the frequency with which these posts are made while operating a motor vehicle.