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My sister and I do not always agree on everything. Particular points of contention include, but are not limited to; pineapple, indefinite articles, the daily wear of Hawaiian T-Shirts, “toe shoes”, the use of “Plutoed” as a verb (I find it to be insensitive), artificial pineapple flavoring, carbine assault rifles, side burns, pineapple-shaped lawn ornaments, and of course the great state of Texas. As such I will attempt to come to its defense.
1. As far as I’m awares, it’s the only state in the Union with both alligators and buffalo.
2. Stevie Ray Vaughan.
3. It once had its own president, General Sam Houston. Even more impressive was his mustache.
4. It has its own battleship. That’s right, its own. Not the Navy’s, no sir. Texas’s.
5. Shiner Bock.
6. Sports! Texas has sports!
7. If you name your dog Texas (but pronounce it “Tejas”), women will find it adorable.
8. The coolest bumper sticker in the nation!
9. Tex-Mex, and the majority of those silly drinks you order on Mexican night.
10. Chuck Fucking Norris.
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ReplyDeleteDon't mess with Texas? Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
ReplyDeleteIf I have to choose between education and tacos, well, you know who's going to win every time...
ReplyDeleteTexas is a darling state. However it ceases to be so quaint and precious when one has to drive from its east to its west and crosses over the border from Louisiana only to read on the highway sign, "El Paso 895 miles."
ReplyDeleteA collective groan could be heard inside that car.