True Story.

So I really need to get a scanner. Maybe photoshop as well, or at least a clue as to how we should actually make these wacky comics. While I'm at it, I could use a clue as to how "dating" works again.

I swear that I had this down, back in high school... (Ahh, the 90's. How I miss my long hair, terrible skater punk, rap-rock, and abstract 3-D trapper keeper illustrations. Wait, no. No. It was "Hammer Pants " that I missed. Sorry, moving on.) There was a time-honored and highly efficant system set in place that we all would adhere to:

First, you would go out on a date. (Usually this meant holding hands in the Library, and sitting next to each other at events. I went to a performing arts high school, so most of us were too busy with after school activities to actually do anything fun.)

Next, if you went out on more "dates", you could be considered "dating". (Congratulations! Now you're  skipping lunch, and making out under the stairwell.) "Dating" was more of a casual thing, though in all honesty, very few people played this up because back then after about a week of this (A week? They've been dating fooooorever!) you jumped into:

Going Steady. This was a big deal- you got to throw the BF/GF word around like you were cool, because honestly, back then it was pretty cool. Generally speaking, this also meant that you got to put your hand up a shirt, which back then was a fairly big deal. Just sayin'. This would continue on for a couple of weeks (or sometimes longer) until one of you decided it was time to go "date" someone else. This usually corresponded with a class schedule thing. (I'm sorry, baby. The distance thing just isn't working out.)

Now-a-days everything is all different and confusing. No one wants to put labels on anything. No one wants to define an emotion, because it isn't "cool", or "free", or whatever bullshit you want to throw out there in order to make slutting around sound hip and socially acceptable. You see the thing is this: we aren't just making out under the stair well anymore, and relationships aren't a month with the big climax being you got to second-and-a-half-base. People become intimate, get attached, form heavy emotional opinions of each other, and then have to deal with the consequences. Then they try to pretend this isn't happening.

There are consequences to this sort of behavior; the easy and obvious ones are the risk of immediate physical repercussions, ie: sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, jealous ex-lovers assaulting your new fling with scissors, etc. The less obvious are the issues with self-esteem, placing value on your use, or ability to be used by others, and the need for approval and validation that may seems socially acceptable right now, but in reality, is mostly only that way because people are pretending it's so for their own social agenda. (Usually this is to validate their desire to get into your pants. If you're OK with that, than so be it, but don't try to dress it up as anything other than what it is.)

Think about it, for observable/recorded human history, as well as anthropological human history, we've been pairing up like it's cool. Because it is. Weather you believe from a spiritual standpoint that we were created to function in this manner, or you look at the overwhelming majority of cultures that have existed since, well, we have- this learned behavior is present for a reason. A very good one. Simply put, "banging' around town" (to borrow a phrase from Baconista) has consequences, usually not very good.

Does that mean that you shouldn't test the waters? Experiment a bit? Conduct a sampling mode of the target demographic, and extrapolate the qualities that you're looking for based on sound logic and experimentation? Certainly not! (Says, I, at least.) It's just that it seems, well, tricky. How do you accomplish this in a responsible manner, and not wind up unnecessarily standing in someone else's Kool-Aid?

Time, I think, may be the answer. All too often we feel the need to rush from one relationship, to another, even if it's a serious of micro-encounters, because we're too afraid of being left alone with our own emotions and problems to solve. It's so much easier to pack them all into a shoe-box, tape it shut, and bury it in your closet while making room for your new lover's things. Even if it's only a week, a month, or a couple of hours. This, simply put, isn't healthy, and you're only doomed to repeat your mistakes over and over again until you learn to face, and resolve them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, random goth chick from Saturday's Halloween party; I don't care how hot you are, I am not your exit strategy.

-T